The 50 States and Their Capitals
by Rukia Blood-Moon
Summary: Crack. Pure Crack. Also a song fanfic. Well, now we know the reaction of the States when they hear the 50 states and their capitals song.  OC's.  SLOPPY.


One afternoon at America's main house in Washington D.C…

Sunlight sauntered into the living room where the fifty states of America were lounging, their day marching on as usual.

North Dakota was reading an old history book while her younger twin sister South Dakota was playing with America's cat. Nebraska was eating corn as he listened to Washington rant on about bears and Arizona and New Mexico were bored and decided to prank call Mexico. Maryland was sitting on the worn blue couch, humming softly to herself as she played with a red-headed doll, and she was secretly eavesdropping on a conversation Connecticut and Massachusetts were having over a spoiler in the Twilight saga. Colorado was watching and exercising program and he was following along as Iowa, Illinois, and Indiana were trying to break his concentration while he was lifting up a heavy weight by making goofy faces. Alaska was smoking a cigarette in the back corner of the room and he was leaning against the wall, watching with bored eyes as Vermont, New Hampshire, and Delaware were in the process of a fistfight. Hawaii was next to Alaska strumming on a ukulele and singing something in a different language with Utah and Oregon listening and singing along. Montana and Texas were having an arm wrestling match and Wyoming was the referee and Oklahoma and Arkansas were cheering on Texas while Idaho and Nevada were encouraging Montana to pulverize him. Kansas was reading 'The Wizard of Oz' and Minnesota was giving Missouri a noogie and Louisiana and Mississippi were drawing pictures of meadows in their sketchbooks. Wisconsin was eating cheese and Michigan was playing a game on his D.S. while they listened absently to a game of poker New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and West Virginia were playing. North and South Carolina were trying to build a house of cards, but Tennessee and Kentucky were determined to blow it apart after only one floor was completed. Ohio was sleeping on the couch next to Maryland and Rhode Island was tickling his nose with a feather. Virginia was trying to comfort Washington D.C. when he thought he saw Britain* and Georgia was finishing up some office work at the coffee table while Alabama was listening to California and Florida do karaoke with each other, while Maine was watching Florida from behind a potted plant.

"_California girls, we're unforgettable~" _Florida and California sang in unison, drowning out Hawaii, Utah, and Oregon's singing, making the three of them frown and look over.

"_Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top~" _The two blonde girls swayed their hips with their hands in the air.

"_Sun-kissed skin so hot we'll melt your p-"_ Florida and California's singing was interrupted by the front door being swung open, hitting Alaska square in the face and the northern state dropped his cigarette, which Hawaii, who had been spared, immediately extinguished.

America rushed into the living room holding a c.d. disk with a wide grin on his face and the States exchanged glances. America marched over to the karaoke machine that was still spouting Katy Perry music and he opened it up, took out the disk and placed the new one into the machine, despite Florida and California's protests.

"Oh God. What do you plan on doing now, Alfred?" Virginia asked, looking up from the trembling Washington D.C.

America merely smiled and he tugged the cord of the microphone out of the machine and cranked the volume up to the highest it could get and pressed start.

_Baton Rouge, Louisiana,_

_Indianapolis, Indiana,_

_And Columbus is the capital of O-hi-o_

Louisiana's mouth dropped open, Indiana looked at America horrified, and Ohio woke up and was looking around and then down at the front of his pants.

_There's Montgomery, Alabama,_

_South of Helena, Montana, _

_Then there's Denver, Colorado and Boise, Idaho_

Alabama screeched and went into fetal position. "NOT THE VOICES AGAAAAAAIN!" Montana stopped arm wrestling with Texas, her face flushing as she covered her big chest with her arms uncomfortably. Colorado dropped the weight on his foot and he cursed limping out of the room as quickly as he could. Idaho's eye twitched and he turned slowly to the karaoke machine.

_Texas has Austin, _

_Then we go north, _

_To Massachusetts Boston and Albany, New York _

Texas nodded in approval. "Damn straight I've got Austin." Massachusetts and New York gave him horrified looks.

"You're actually okay with this?" They both cried and the song continued on.

_Tallahassee, Florida and Washington D.C.,_

_Santa Fe, New Mexico and Nashville, Tennessee_

_Elvis used to hang out there a lot, you know_

Florida fell to the floor and started laughing so hard that she started to cry. Washington D.C. looked around in confusion. "Why is everyone acting so weird?" He asked aloud and was further baffled when everyone (Except Texas and Florida) blushed and turned away from him. New Mexico dropped his phone and Mexico was asking who called him and Tennessee started banging his head on the table, making the cards scatter again, much to North and South Carolina's dismay.

_Trenton's in New Jersey north of Jefferson, Missouri,_

_You got Richmond in Virginia ,_

_South Dakota has Pierre,_

_Harrisburg's in Pennsylvania and Augusta's in Maine,_

_And here is Providence, Rhode Island next to Dover, Delaware_

New Jersey fell to his knees and screamed, "_POR QUE!"_ and Missouri was now being patted on the head comfortingly by Minnesota. Rhode Island looked down at her chest and sighed glumly. "GET THIS ABOMINATION OFF THE STEREO/KAROKE MACHINE!" Delaware yelled at America, but the country only ignored him.

_Concord, New Hampshire, just a quick jaunte,_

_To Montpelier, which is up in Vermont,_

_Hartford's in Connecticut, so pretty in the fall_

_And Kansas had Topeka and Minnesota has St. Paul_

New Hampshire started running around the room screaming and Vermont clutched his black eye and started punching the crap out of the couch. Connecticut picked up a chair and slammed it into a window, making it shatter on contact and jumped out and began to run away as fast he could. Kansas looked at 'The Wizard of Oz' novel in her hand and sighed mournfully. "I wish I was in Munchkin Land now…" Minnesota face palmed and Missouri was still a whimpering mess at Minnesota's feet.

_Juneau's in Alaska, and there's Lincoln in Nebraska,_

_And It's Raleigh in North Carolina, _

_And then, there's Madison Wisconsin_

_And Olympia in Washington,_

_Phoenix, Arizona and Lansing Michigan_

Alaska scowled and hissed a string of curses at America, his face burning as the singer mentioned his capital and North Carolina rubbed her temples. "Make it stop." She moaned. Wisconsin choked on his cheese and Michigan smacked his back repeatedly as hard as he could. Washington stopped ranting about bears and he started punching himself in the face. "I'm not part of Greece, I'm not part of Greece…" Washington murmured to himself and Arizona ran into the kitchen. "CALL THE COPS!" Arizona screamed and America snatched him up by the collar of his shirt. America wagged a finger in front of him crossly.

"Wait until the end of the song." America chided and Arizona fainted.

_Here's Honolulu; Hawaii's a joy,_

_Jackson Mississippi and Springfield Illinois,_

_South Carolina with Columbus down the way,_

_And Annapolis in Maryland on Chesapeake Bay._

_They have wonderful clam chowder!_

Hawaii started banging his ukulele on the wall and Mississippi started crying the Mississippi river while Illinois scratched at the wall and at his throat. South Carolina looked disturbed and began to run to his room and slammed the door loudly. Maryland started crying and hugging her dolls against her chest.

_Cheyenne is in Wyoming and_

_Perhaps you make your home in Salt Lake city out in Utah where the buffalo roam_

Wyoming covered his ears with his hands and hummed loudly to himself and Utah looked around the room threateningly.

"Ya'll better stay away from my Vital Regions… and my buffalo…" He murmured.

_Atlanta's down in Georgia _

_And there's Bismarck in North Dakota,_

_And you live in Frankfurt in your own Kentucky home_

Georgia put his face in his hands, smudging up his glasses and North Dakota was shooting death glares at America with a red face. Kentucky started shredding up the cards that the Carolina's were using and gritted her teeth.

_Salem in Oregon, _

_From there we join, _

_Little Rock in Arkansas,_

_Iowa's got Des Moines_

Oregon dove under the coffee table as if the State wanted to hide from the music and Arkansas and Iowa exchanged irritated glances with each other.

_Sacramento, California,_

_Oklahoma and it's city,_

_Charleston, West Virginia and Nevada Carson City,_

_That's all the Capitals there are!_

By the time the song was finished, the whole room was in chaos.

Aside from the damage already seen, Alaska got pissed and set a curtain on fire, Hawaii tried to drown himself in a fishbowl (the fish was not pleased.), and pretty much everyone was running around tearing up, except Florida who was still laughing.

America was laughing as well and he took a blow horn and pressed the button. A loud annoying noise made all of the States freeze and cover their ears. America grinned at them and they all stared at him.

"So, did you guys like the song?" America asked them all with a grin. The states began to grumble amongst each other.

"I feel molested…"

"My Vitals feel defiled…"

"That was hilarious!"

"Shut up Florida."

"I think I'm going to go to bed now." New Hampshire said awkwardly and everyone nodded in agreement and they all shuffled back to their rooms.

America watched them go and shrugged. He took out the C.D. and replaced it with another one he was holding, plugged in the microphone and started to sing along with the song.

Almost immediately, America heard one of the doors open in the house and he saw Alaska stomp into the room, clearly miffed.

"I swear Alfred F. Jones, sing 'Love in America' one more time and I will castrate you."

* * *

><p><strong>CRACK. THIS WAS PURE CRACK. Heh. Yeah, I know I have like three other unfinished stories, but I couldn't get the thought of this out of my head. I apologize for the sloppiness, I was like, half-asleep and bored when I wrote this.<strong>

***Britain set fire to Washington D.C. in 1814**

**So, uh. Good-bye!**


End file.
